Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
sex in a hospital.. check
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
