She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
