It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
