Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
