I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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