my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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