p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
