it's not cheating when I paid for it
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
my poor anus
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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