What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
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