Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
