I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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