quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
