recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
