you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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