well you can't waste a boner
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
