Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
