I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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