that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
