She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
