he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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