It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
