I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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