I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
