Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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