Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
