i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
