he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
