so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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