I think scott just propositioned me for sex
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Randomize
