I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
