Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
