thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
