Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
