What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Sorry about my life...
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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