its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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