Your mouth is God's brothel.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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