I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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