I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
This is classic penis vs brain.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
