margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
