Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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