6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
