Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
