Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
