OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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