I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
