i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
