airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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