You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
