dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
