Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Even my vagina gasped.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
