i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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