dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
